Tag Archives: Community

Grateful

27 Monday Jul 2020

Posted by in Audre, Blogging, Faith

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I wrote a book three or four years ago. It is a collection of writing that I did for our church’s web site. The priest at that time was gracious to agree that it was my intellectual property and so I was free to publish it.

During that same period of time, I was studying to become a deaconess. In my denomination, a deaconess is a non-ordained position; it is a ministry to women and children, as well as being a helping hand to the priest as far as office work is concerned. I was on a spiritual ‘high’ and wasn’t at all tired even though I was working full time and teaching Sunday school with all its attendant prep work. I have rarely been so happy.

I did my year of discernment – read the mandated books, wrote the thought pieces required after each book read. The Board of Examining Chaplains allowed me, at the end of my year, to start my seminary classes. I took my classes, ‘distance learning’, through Logos House Theological Seminary in Maine. I did my practicals – offered Morning Prayer for women in the church (under my priest’s monitoring), I was already teaching Sunday school, and I took my Altar Guild training from a dear, dear woman at church. I graded well on my classes and papers and everything was moving along as one might expect.

Until it was time for the Canonical and the big exams. Under Logos House rules, I had to take a Prayer Book exam (1928 Book of Common Prayer), the Bible exam, and then the Canonical. I failed miserably. Not the fault of the seminary – the exams each had tremendous lists of items that had to be memorized. I had, but didn’t know, that I had reached that phase in my maturity that I could no longer remember lists of things. Four or five items, certainly; not a problem. But this was extensive memory work and I simply couldn’t do it. I failed so horribly, I withdrew from my classes. I simply couldn’t face the Canonical and quite frankly, didn’t want to waste the time of the Board.

At that same time, families in the church moved away and there went our Sunday school kids. The book lay like a dead thing on Amazon. Major turmoil and changes at work. Things a little scruffy at home. It was, indeed the perfect storm.

And I just stopped. All the zeal and desire and happiness in my most inner parts stopped. I didn’t write anymore, church bored me, and anything other than Jesus had my attention.

Then I found a web site in the United Kingdom. ‘Met’ new people – let me tell you right now, I am a hopeless Anglophile and I love the English! Wrote some comments that were received well and I slowly started to feel better. I met Neo on that site and in his kindness, he invited me to write on NEO. The juices started flowing. A little off but I was writing again.

My spirit lifted; I was in love with Jesus again. It wasn’t that I hated Him – I hated myself for failing Him. And then – thank you Heavenly Father – Neo suggested an article go to All Along the Watchtower. I was scared – no joke. He had pointed me that way before but the articles were so far beyond my abilities and the comments so sharp and intelligent, I thought, ‘no way’.

The first article burst the dam – I am free again. I can write again. I can write about Jesus again and share Him and how He moves me.

Grateful. To Neo, to Chalcedon, to the kindness of readers, to the Lord of my life. Grateful.

Listening to God

21 Tuesday Jul 2020

Posted by in Anti Catholic, Blogging, Faith

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A recent post raised a very pertinent question from our long-time and valued discussant, Jock to the effect that did I really want to go down the road of using the blog to argue with Bosco. It was an excellent point which I took in the spirit it was meant. There comes, after all, a point where reasoning with the mortal equivalent of a brick wall should stop. One simply has to acknowledge that one has done all that is possible and leave the rest to God.

Jock’s comment did, however, raise the whole question of what this place is for, which, in turn took me to some wise comments by Eugene Peterson, which I wanted to share with readers here.

The Christian life consists in what God does for us, not what we do for God … [it] consists in what god says to us, not what we say about God … if we do not return to Square One every time we act, each time we speak,, beginning from God and God’s word, we will soon be practiising a spirituality that has little to do or nothing to do with God. [Evelyn Underhill’s Prayer Book, p. vi).

How do we do that?

For Catholics there are two powerful spiritual exercises which help: Eucharistic Adoration and praying the Rosary. Daily reorientation toward God is a vital part of our spiritual life, and private prayer can also be an aid, as is guided reading of the Scriptures and sharing one’s thoughts with fellow Christians.

Back to our friend Jock here. I was much struck by what he has had to say about how he has found the experience of being part of a Church so difficult that he no longer attends. I can understand that. As a Catholic, being able to partake of the Eucharistic feast is essential, but there have been times when I have felt guilty about the feelings evoked by some fellow parishioners, and also, to be frank about the feelings I clearly evoked in them. Being English I shall leave it at “not easy,” and move on. Yet, I cannot help but feel that Christians are meant to be part of a community, and to the extent that this place allows a virtual community to exist, I value it, and your participation.

But what I would add is this. If you are an atheist who wishes to prove that God does not exist, then there are better places for you to exercise your own chosen ministry, as I shall not be biting. The same is true if you find Catholic expressions of the Faith beyond your tolerance. Of course you have the right to do that; but what you won’t have is the right to do it here. There is a line between questioning and debating, which I am always happy to do, and denigration and assumptions that Catholic expressions of the Faith are “wrong.” So, taking our friend Bosco as the model here. He can continue his long diatribe against the Catholic Church, but without any further substantive responses from me.

That is because, in the end, this place exists as a community, and whilst a community can have, and often does have, robust exchanges of views, it exists in an atmosphere of mutual respect. Our friend Jock is a good example of this. He is not a Catholic, but he makes excellent points and asks good questions and is (usually) respectful. His contributions here are much appreciated, as are those from other contributors, few of whom as Roman Catholics.

It would be appropriate to end this with an early Christian prayer:

Pour down on us, O Lord God, the Spirit of Your love and ever preserve in the same mutual charity those whom you have fed with the same havenly bread.