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I came across something interesting the other day.
I’m presenting it here as I’m very much interested in your thoughts on this topic.
“Would creation remain created if God doesn’t maintain it?”
What is your opinion?
Hmmm …
28 Friday Aug 2020
Category Archives: Audre
I Spoke …
27 Thursday Aug 2020
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To God last night. He sits, American Indian fashion, on my comforter and keeps me company until I fall asleep. I asked Him, please Lord, let President Trump be in your will for America. Our country is in such dire need – of Him, especially but also a return to what everyone seems to call ‘values’ now but when I was growing up, it was referred to as manners, civility, and consideration for others.
With protests that became riots, and condemnation of police before an investigation has even begun, and the destruction of lives and businesses in several major cities across the country, I’m forced to look at my reaction to all this. I am a Christian. I consider myself a Christian before all the other incidentals – American, woman, mom, etc. I take Christianity seriously and I know that I have to see myself as others see me – do they see Jesus when they see my actions and reactions, when they hear the things I say and write? If I am a Christian, seeing Jesus in me should be the first thing they see because we are told we will be known by our fruits. Our fruits are how we function in every day, routine, humdrum things but more obviously when big things happen – things so big they affect the entire country.
We can never be Jesus, of course, but we are called to live as He has instructed us. We are to add to the 10 Commandments His teachings on how to live a God-pleasing life. Because I am aware of my Christianity, I try to evaluate how I’m doing, in that respect, on a daily basis. Some days I win, some days I lose. But on the days I lose, am I affecting others in a negative way? I am called to be a light to a path leading someone else to Jesus – do I do it?
At a recent Bible study with one of our bishops, I asked how I, as a Christian, am to respond to the less than slow creep of socialism on my beloved America; how am I to respond to the evils of Antifa, to the Black Lives Matter organization. I want so much to be pleasing to God; the Bible tells us that the only way to please God is to believe in Him but we all know that’s not enough. So how do I reconcile my Christianity with what is afoot across this country. Our bishop had an amazing answer. I thought it rather trite when he first said it but upon further reflection he was quite right. He stated that Antifa, BLM, socialism, any terrorist group anywhere in the world is a living, breathing symbol of a disordered heart. Think about that for a moment – a disordered heart. Powerful description, isn’t it. God creates order; everything in nature points to that order – the seasons, the cycles, the ‘times to every purpose under heaven’. The bishop advised that a Christian, in response to all the terrible things that are going on in America, is to pray for a conversion to Christianity. God does not create chaos – He creates order. To be creating chaos is to display a disordered heart, a disordered understanding, a disordered idea of what of what we must do to change things that are not right.
If one converts to Christianity, the first thing one sees is that the ‘change of things’ is really the need to change oneself. Chaos cannot produce order; order produces order. We need to look at ourselves first, order our lives and hearts and minds to the order God has given us and then we can start to look at our homes, our neighborhoods, and our country. St. Matthew’s Gospel, chapter six, verse 33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
It is well with my soul. I spoke to God last night.
Sin
25 Tuesday Aug 2020
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Now that I have your attention …
We don’t talk about sin much anymore. It may be because ‘sin’ is an outmoded idea; conversely, it could be that we see so much of it in the world it’s entirely too big a topic to broach. I think both are true.
If we consider sin to be anything that takes us out of the will of God, we’ve all got quite a bit to be nervous about. We don’t seem to spend much time talking about it and even less thinking about it. We should. A little self-examination is good for the soul. The tricky part about looking at our sin is to step away from the tendency to berate ourselves and beat ourselves up over our sin. All we’re really called to do is see it, recognize it for what it is, and do all we can to eliminate it from our lives.
Besetting sin is a main, or constant problem or fault (Merriam-Webster online dictionary). It’s that thing that we do over and over again, sometimes not even wittingly as it’s become so much a part of us. Those are the hard ones to eradicate. It takes concerted effort; a constant awareness and watchfulness and folks tend to be lazy about a lot of things – this included.
The Seven Deadly Sins are pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony, and sloth. Very little thought is required to understand why these are sins. Pride puts ourselves above others – we’re very happy with ourselves and look askance at anyone who doesn’t quite live up to our own bar. Greed makes us spend our time and efforts chasing after ‘filthy lucre’; the Bible has an excellent reference to greed – go ahead and spend your time amassing all the money and goods you want; you can’t take it with you and someone else is going to enjoy it after you’re gone. We’re told to seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will be given to us. That’s all we really need. Wrath – that’s a big one right; one has only to view the landscape of America right now to know the evils of wrath. People are so quick to ire and punish. Frightening times. I’ve never understood envy – wishing we had what our neighbor has, and them having what they do makes them better than we and we want to be better than other people. Vicious cycle. God granted me the knowledge and understanding of envy early on in life; everything comes with a price – much of which I have never been willing to pay. He has given me all that I need all of my life. Other folks have more or better? I’m happy for them; it has no effect on my life. Lust – it’s not just about bodies and sex, folks. Lusting can and does come in many guises and we do well to watch for it. Gluttony. Hmmm … this one is harder. What is gluttony? Habitual greed and excess in eating. We have to decide for ourselves where our limits are. Many people are weight conscious but it seems, if you look at a group of people, there are more weight unconscious. I’ve been there. I’ve been up and I’ve been down and I think that long road is closed now. I feel that it is. But I’ll keep an eye on it and let you know. Finally, there’s sloth. Uh-oh. Does procrastination count? Ok; I seem to have a problem with silverware in the kitchen sink. While silverware is important to everyday life, I find it as exciting as mating socks in the laundry. Or watching paint dry. Maybe that’s my besetting sin?
And then we come to the unspeakables. Those sins we tell to no one. The ones whose memory disturbs us. We all carry them because we are a fallen and broken people. They tend to be the sins we actually kneel to ask forgiveness for. The ones we can never forgive ourselves for. The ones only God sees. It is our job, in our self-examination, to keep an eye on them that they cannot ever be repeated. They make our hearts ache and make us ashamed to face God – but we have to; it’s the biggest part repentance and if we are honest and truly repentant, God shows us again His grace and unbounded love. Hard work. Heartbreaking work. But so completely and totally worth being in His will again. In my mind’s eye, I see the sinner grow and blossom and face toward the Son and bask in His warmth. That’s all of us – every single one of us.
It’s So Easy
22 Saturday Aug 2020
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“Love one another as I have loved you” (St. John 13:34); all these are my brothers (from St. Mark 3:35); do unto others as you would have them do unto you (St. Luke 6:31); seventy times seven (St. Matthew 18:22); turn the other cheek (St. Matthew 5:39).
What could be simpler? This is the Christian, loving, acceptable way to live and we who are Christian are all called to live in this manner. Jesus modelled it for us and we are to follow His lead. He wasn’t laughing when He said these things and He didn’t have his fingers crossed behind His back. These are some of the things we’re to do to be good followers.
And then we wake up, get the family ready for the day, drive the interstate to work, and start our day at our workplace. All that charming Jesus stuff gets shoved right out the door. But it’s not supposed to be. We’re to carry it in our minds, on our lips, and in our hearts. Our day is where His teaching meets the road. It seems there’s an hourly challenge to these precepts and all we can hope to do is get a least one right.
I worked in the debt collection department of a major retailer. It had the most adverse effect on me. I mean I was deeply scarred by what I heard people say every day. I had no idea what people are really like. It completely obliterated for me that cozy little idea that people are basically good. Ahem – I beg to differ. We had two weeks training and then went ‘live’ on the phones in the training room. My very first call was to an 83 year old woman in Chicago who proceeded to call me everything but a child of God. She said words I didn’t know 83 year old women knew! After awhile, you can tell when someone is lying – I’m sorry, you just can. Tons of calls listening to some of the most outrageous stories you ever heard. ‘Tall tales’ didn’t die with Mark Twain. Americans are good at it.
But sometimes, in the lies and abuse and insults, the Holy Spirit happened. A woman was late on her bill; she had just been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. She had spent the last two months going to doctors and hospitals and got behind on all her bills. She was alone in the world – no family. She started to cry and I fought back my own tears the best I could. I said to her, at the close of the call, “If you won’t be offended, I’ll remember you in my prayers.” Oh, my word – it was almost as if Jesus had healed her that moment. She was crying again but with a difference. Someone was going to pray for her. It mattered to her.
The police officer whose mother had just been diagnosed with dementia and had to move in with the officer, who was single and at wits end; didn’t know how he could afford all the doctoring and time off from work. Because my dad was a police officer, I suggested contacting his Police Benevolent Association. My dad’s been gone since 1999, and was retired long before then. How in the world did I remember the PBA? Holy Spirit moment.
As you might expect, Saturday mornings were bad; really bad. But one call set me back on my heels. The gentleman on the other end of the line was really chipper and perky and gosh, he meant to pay the bill so here, take the card information, etc. At one point, I was chuckling and asked him if he was always that cheery on a Saturday morning and he said, “Yes, ma’am; I am. I know Who I belong to.” Holy Spirit moment.
Being a Christian is the easiest thing in the world – even when it isn’t.
An Act of Will
13 Thursday Aug 2020
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An Act of Will
1Peter, chapter 4, verse 8: Love covers a multitude of sins.
How does love cover sin? Hatred, for example, damages the object of our hatred but it also damages us. Love isn’t an emotional, touchy-feely thing (except on Valentine’s Day); it’s an act of the will. Our will. God’s will.
Anger is a secondary result; hurt is the event that causes the anger. Search your memory for anger you’ve felt against others or the anger someone may have felt toward you. Under that anger, we’ll find the core of the matter – someone has been hurt, in whatever manifestation (physically, emotionally, psychologically, to name a few).
Sometimes the Bible’s teachings get presented to us in the most unlikely places. When it happens, we’re often surprised, if not shocked – television, in this particular instance, is very ‘worldly’, very secular, very topical – and yet, because we are spiritually attuned, we recognize the teaching.
Case in point – The Walking Dead. My husband, because he has no interest and can’t see beyond the zombies, tries to ‘guilt’ me into not watching the program. He says, “That’s a fine thing for a Christian lady to watch!”, meaning it’s anything but ‘fine’. But he can’t see what I see. There is a very moving – and instructive – scene wherein a man, Tyrese, who has been insanely angry about the murder of his girlfriend, comes face to face with the person who killed her, the character Carol. After Carol explains to Tyrese why she killed the girlfriend, Tyrese has a moment in which he is ready to kill to Carol for what she has done. And then, his heart breaks away from the anger and hatred. He looks at Carol and says, “I forgive you”. It’s a breath-taking moment and one I’ve thought about often. Tyrese ‘wills’ himself to forgo retaliation; he wills himself to not hate Carol; he wills himself to not be damaged by his hatred nor to damage Carol in his hatred for her. He forgives her.
That’s how love covers sins. It’s wrong to hate people – it damages them and it damages us. But by love, which is the spring of all good things, whatever sins Tyrese carries, and whatever sins Carol carries – and by extension, whatever sins we carry – are covered when we love first and then forgive.
This is not easy. It’s hard work to correct ourselves when we see our faults. It’s a massive work to love. It’s an act of will.
(s)(ed)(ing)
12 Wednesday Aug 2020
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I struggled with a title so I just let some of my research guide me to it. The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible’s Concise Concordance gives eight references for ‘redeem'(s)(ed)(ing). The Amplified Bible’s concordance has twenty-two references for (s)(ed)(ing), with an additional seven for (er). The King James Study Bible’s Concordance with Word Studies offers thirty-six references for (s)(ed)(ing) and ten references for (er). That’s a lot of reading and cross-referencing, folks.
The Bing online dictionary gives these as the definition: 1. Compensate for faults or bad aspect of (something) – (self) do something that compensates for poor past performance or behavior; (of a person) atone or make amends for (error or evil); save (someone) from sin, error, or evil. 2. Gain or regain possession of (something in exchange for payment) 3. Fulfill or carry out (a pledge or promise)
If we look at the work on the Cross, Jesus has done all of these things. He compensated for our faults and bad aspects. When God created man, He created them exactly the way he wanted man to be. Man was, at that instant, perfect. It didn’t take us long to ruin that and fall from where we were meant to be to where we are today. We’re very good – expert, even – in messing up our lives.
He compensated for our past (and present!) poor performance. There are any number of stories or videos or podcasts or memes of ‘men behaving badly’, ‘women behaving badly’, ‘babies behaving badly’ and we chuckle and laugh and nod our heads because – that’s us. We know that behavior; we’ve had it all our lives. We try to atone for our errors and make amends to folks we may have hurt along the way but we’re not quite as accomplished at that as we are at making a mess of things. Like the mote/plank idea, we try to save loved ones, friends and family – and sometimes complete strangers – from the sin, error, or evil we see in their lives.
To regain God’s possession of us, Jesus paid with his life, to buy us back to God. Now, clearly, this is very simply put for readability but you get the idea here. His death on the cross was the ‘exchange for payment’.
To fulfill, to carry out his promise of breaking death and his pledge of a home for us in heaven (My Father’s mansion has many rooms. If it were not so I would have told you.), he died on the cross. He died on the cross and opened heaven to us, his resurrection proved he had broken death, and his ascension gave visual proof that there is a place other than here that we can attain to.
I am, we are, small people with limited abilities and understanding but there is something so tactile, so real, so immediate in ‘redeem’ (s)(ed)(ing)(er), that even though we are limited, we understand that we have been (ed).
Sir, Prophet, Messiah
07 Friday Aug 2020
It’s an interesting story, ‘the woman at the well’, starting at verse six in St. John’s Gospel, chapter four.
The most radical statement I’m going to make is, I like Samaritans. I liked them in the Gospel of St. Luke, (10:30 forward) and I like this chatty woman who sees Jesus at Jacob’s well. In the St. Luke story, a priest and a Levite both walk past an injured man laying in the road, but a Samaritan binds his wounds, takes him to a hotel, pays the room rent, and buys his food. But not the ‘stiff-necked’ Jews of Jesus’ time. Jews don’t talk to Samaritans (in that time) and yet when this particular Jew speaks to her, she’s polite and friendly and she seems perfectly happy to have a conversation with Him. In the best vernacular, ya gotta love a lady like that.
But it’s her growth that is charming and heartwarming to read. She addresses Him as Sir when they first meet; polite yet friendly. As He talks with her about the ‘living water’, I can see her in my mind’s eye trying to work this out – she’s practical, she’s a housekeeper, she has to draw water for cooking and cleaning and that gets to be a grind in the heat and the dust of the road. What in the world can the Gentleman be talking about? I’m reminded of St. Philip, and the eunuch who asks how can he understand Scripture unless someone ‘opens’ it for him. In this manner, Jesus ‘opens’ for her His meaning in ‘living water’.
I do, I’m afraid, have a problem with the Bible’s ascribing ‘prostitute’ to so many women in the stories. Certainly some were, but not all. I don’t think our lady friend at the well was a prostitute; I think that, like a lot of people, she was looking for love in all the wrong places (like the old country/western song). When Jesus tells her He knows she’s had five ‘husbands’, rather than defend herself and the choices she’s made, she says she perceives Him to be a prophet. I love this exchange between them. Jesus does not accuse or insult or condemn, He simply lets her know He knows. And she is not insulted or hurt or embarrassed. Because He loves her, and she perceives more than a prophet in Him – His gentle heart also.
I chuckle to myself when I read that He tells her to bring her husband to Him at the well. I see her scurrying off down the road, looking back to make sure He’s still there; she’s all ‘aflutter’ because something, Someone, exciting is happening here and she can’t wait to share it. I’m reminded of another story, the story of the housewife who lost a penny – she looks all over the house, sweeps the floor, and on finding it, she celebrates with her neighbors that she’s found the penny. Our little lady at the well can’t wait to celebrate what she’s found at the well and dashes down the road to her town. When she gets there, she doesn’t just tell her husband about the Man, she tells all the men she can – “look what I found!”
You know the rest of the story; the men all come to the well and Jesus speaks with them and stays there a few days. I’m laughing again because the men all say, we believe He is the Massiah – not because YOU said so, (my emphatic) but because of all that He told us. Men – gotta love ’em.
But our little lady at the well grows in understanding and the joy she exhibits in telling the town folk touches my heart. We should all be dashing into town, excited to tell of Jesus. Evidently, we haven’t grown as much as she.
Suffering
03 Monday Aug 2020
Posted in Anglicanism, Audre, Faith
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I have my issues; you do, too. Especially now when our youth is far, far behind us and whatever years are ahead of us seem murky and uninviting. Everyone on the face of the earth, from the Fall to now, to the future have, do, or will face suffering. Like at death, no one gets out unscathed.
The forms of suffering seem to be as varied as the people that populate the earth. Emotional, physical, mental, spiritual; these are just the easiest to point to but there are shadings and twists and unforeseen turnings to these ‘easiest’ sufferings. Suffering, like marriage, is the same for everyone – the same in overview and different in detail.
1Peter 4:1 and forward, speaks to suffering and how suffering may be a good thing because we turn away from practicing our sins and concentrate on our suffering. It’s an interesting chapter you may want to refresh in your memory.
Ok. So everyone has suffering. What do we do with it? If we’re Christians, we lay it at the feet of the Cross, “Here, Jesus, You deal with it because I can’t” or “Now I understand because I’m suffering, too, but not to the extent You did” or “Please, dear Lord, take this suffering from me!” or “Why me???” How do we speak to Jesus about our suffering?
We should, I suspect, ask Him what He wants us to do with the suffering we face. I think it is as important to share our suffering with others, like it’s important to share healings with others. They don’t know until we tell them. I’ve had two healings – one was during the foot washing at Maundy Thursday Mass; the other was at the Communion rail in church. The point is, everyone understands suffering – Christian or not; not everyone – even Christians – understand healing.
Bottom line – what will we do with our suffering? What will you do with your suffering?
Silence
02 Sunday Aug 2020
Posted in Audre, Catholic Tradition, Faith
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There’s an old Simon and Garfunkel song that starts, “Hello, Silence, my old friend; I’ve come to talk with you again.”
Silence. It is quite amazing – the healing properties of silence. Do you remember back in your younger days when you’d go to a bar or pub, music blasting, people talking loud over the music, and that super ‘amped’ feeling it gave you? “Last call … for alcohol” sent you out into the parking lot and your ears would be stunned by the ‘sound’ of silence. For a moment the quiet was so loud, it hurt your ears. I remember those ‘back in the day’ days.
I was quite a bit older when I went on my first religious retreat. For years I had wanted to go on retreat but could never afford it and had kids and a job and a husband and all that busy-ness. So later in life, the kids were off in their lives, a little money in the bank, and a husband that had no problem with me being gone for two and a half days. I was excited but leary; I didn’t quite know what to expect. I knew the program we were following; our Senior Deaconess, Tina, was our ‘leader’ and Bishop Chad was our officiant. Snacks in the conference room, single person cells with bed, chair, desk, lamp, and alarm clock. We would pray and eat with the monks and Abbot. But I didn’t know what to expect, if you understand what I mean. Those with cell phones were expected to turn them off. Fat chance. But not my problem; I didn’t have one.
We all arrived separately and gathered in a lobby room then found our cells, put away our personal things, and proceeded to the conference room. I can tell you everything about it but really, the most startling thing was silence.
We ate in silence. A simple knock on the table was all the Abbot did and the monks bowed their heads – when we noticed, we did, too – the knock meant ‘say grace’. The next knock was ‘grace finished’. The third knock, awhile later, was ‘end of meal’. We were afforded ample time to be silent and I spent that time in the church, gazing at the stained glass windows, the vaulted ceiling, the stone floor, the statues. In silence. My heart and my mind started to talk to Jesus. No big discourse; just little prayers as they occurred to me. In the cell, we were to be working on a reading of our choice (faith-related, of course). Silence.
Silent breakfast – mindful now for the knocks! – and then off to the conference room. It was jarring, actually, to hear the chatter now of the women as we discussed the topic for the retreat. Then silent time. Then prayers with the monks and Abbot in the church. That schedule established the rest of our time there.
Silence. Like the freedom of taking off tight shoes. Silence. Hearing the words of my heart instead of the words of my head. Silence. Knowing He’s near. Silence. Yearning to stay in that cocoon of silence.
The day after getting home, I was supercharged. I felt 20 years old again. Unspeakable joy. Lightness of soul, mind, and spirit.
If you get an opportunity to go on retreat, do so. But only go if the monasteryis one that practices what we all need so badly. Silence.
Jots and tittles
01 Saturday Aug 2020
I have great respect for those people who can argue the minutiae of the Bible. I’m not one of them. I guess I’m pretty much the Cliff Notes kind of Christian. But I can’t help being impressed by those folks who have delved so deeply into the Bible that they are able to discuss even the tiniest bits of the Bible with great intelligence, insight, and scholarship. Sigh … I’ll never be one of them.
On the other hand (you knew that was coming), sometimes it seems hopelessly ridiculous to me. Like, somewhere along the line, those great minds have missed the point or aren’t seeing the forest for the trees.
At one time, I was doing some light research for a piece I wanted to write and wandered the internet to see what I would find. It can be quite a journey, following links. It can lead to brightness or deep, dark places. But mostly, depending on the traveler, there’s a lot of brightness to be found and I discovered a deep conversation and discussion and debate about this sentence: Luke 23:43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise. The big debate was about … the comma!
Now, I get it; two different things are at work depending on where the comma is. If one reads the verse, as shown above, Jesus is saying on that particular day the thief will be with Him in paradise. However, if the comma before ‘today’ is supposed to go after the word ‘today’, that means that on that particular day, Jesus is telling the thief that at some time in the future he will be with Jesus in heaven. The discussion included mention that the original texts don’t have punctuation and so the translators decided how the statement should read.
I’m laughing at the memory; I spent a lot of time that day, following the debate, following the thought processes of these detail oriented people. And then it occurred to me – what difference does it make if the thief goes today or some day in the future? The important message is – the thief was going to be in paradise with Jesus! He recognized Jesus’ kingship and Jesus welcomed him. Isn’t that why the story is important? So that folks know even those who have committed crimes, done bad things, can come to know Jesus, follow Him, and hope for heaven?
Jots and tittles. I’m a ‘big picture’ kind of girl.
All Along the Watchtower 
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