To God last night. He sits, American Indian fashion, on my comforter and keeps me company until I fall asleep. I asked Him, please Lord, let President Trump be in your will for America. Our country is in such dire need – of Him, especially but also a return to what everyone seems to call ‘values’ now but when I was growing up, it was referred to as manners, civility, and consideration for others.

With protests that became riots, and condemnation of police before an investigation has even begun, and the destruction of lives and businesses in several major cities across the country, I’m forced to look at my reaction to all this. I am a Christian. I consider myself a Christian before all the other incidentals – American, woman, mom, etc. I take Christianity seriously and I know that I have to see myself as others see me – do they see Jesus when they see my actions and reactions, when they hear the things I say and write? If I am a Christian, seeing Jesus in me should be the first thing they see because we are told we will be known by our fruits. Our fruits are how we function in every day, routine, humdrum things but more obviously when big things happen – things so big they affect the entire country.

We can never be Jesus, of course, but we are called to live as He has instructed us. We are to add to the 10 Commandments His teachings on how to live a God-pleasing life. Because I am aware of my Christianity, I try to evaluate how I’m doing, in that respect, on a daily basis. Some days I win, some days I lose. But on the days I lose, am I affecting others in a negative way? I am called to be a light to a path leading someone else to Jesus – do I do it?

At a recent Bible study with one of our bishops, I asked how I, as a Christian, am to respond to the less than slow creep of socialism on my beloved America; how am I to respond to the evils of Antifa, to the Black Lives Matter organization. I want so much to be pleasing to God; the Bible tells us that the only way to please God is to believe in Him but we all know that’s not enough. So how do I reconcile my Christianity with what is afoot across this country. Our bishop had an amazing answer. I thought it rather trite when he first said it but upon further reflection he was quite right. He stated that Antifa, BLM, socialism, any terrorist group anywhere in the world is a living, breathing symbol of a disordered heart. Think about that for a moment – a disordered heart. Powerful description, isn’t it. God creates order; everything in nature points to that order – the seasons, the cycles, the ‘times to every purpose under heaven’. The bishop advised that a Christian, in response to all the terrible things that are going on in America, is to pray for a conversion to Christianity. God does not create chaos – He creates order. To be creating chaos is to display a disordered heart, a disordered understanding, a disordered idea of what of what we must do to change things that are not right.

If one converts to Christianity, the first thing one sees is that the ‘change of things’ is really the need to change oneself. Chaos cannot produce order; order produces order. We need to look at ourselves first, order our lives and hearts and minds to the order God has given us and then we can start to look at our homes, our neighborhoods, and our country. St. Matthew’s Gospel, chapter six, verse 33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

It is well with my soul. I spoke to God last night.