As we have had a little turbulence on this subject in the comments sections recently, David Monier Williams, one of our ‘originals’ wants to outline his views on therapy. This is the first of two posts.
I’d like you to consider just some of the more common problems that many of us face in our lives:
1. How do you help a person that was born and grew up in a seriously dysfunctional family e.g. drugs, alcohol, abuse and violence? These are all trans-generational diseases. Geoffrey and Dave would have you believe that nobody should go to therapy unless their crazy or sinful. Jock, believes it’s anti-Christian, after all God can cure anything…just pray.
2. How do you help a person that because of this upbringing married an abuser? Now why would you do a stupid thing like that? I don’t know anyone who’s done that you hear them say. How would you know? The abused person, usually a woman, is too ashamed to tell anyone. She married him because all her childhood told her that love was shown by being abused. Just like Pavlov’s Dog.
3. How do you help a young man joins the military and experiences the horrors of combat, returning with a diagnosis of PTSD? A few of the symptoms are: night terrors, hyper-vigilantism, and hair-trigger anger. They mange it with drugs, alcoholism and homelessness.
The Armed Forces of both the UK and US, after the person has been diagnosed drugs them. When they return for a second, third and fourth visit, they never see the same person twice and are given more and stronger drugs. They are now walking Zombies. Their choices before getting to therapy are to stay on the drugs, get off them and live with their PTSD or do the other thing. This is EVIL.
Upon entering therapy, there are three choices: EMDR (look it up) which is at best a band-aid; Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) which in identifies the many and various triggers(visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory which set off the PTSD behaviour with each of the various traumas. This means that to some extent they have to re-live a portion of each trauma many times to identify all the triggers. It is time consuming and above all EVIL; lastly there is Exposure or Flooding Therapy which gets the person, after being taught relation techniques, to re-live each trauma until the person is desensitized to it. This again is time consuming and the greatest of all the EVILS. So you survived the Holocaust…go back and re-live it again and again and again.
4. How do you help a person who is agonizingly shy or stutters or because of their total insecurity as a child they can’t function in society? What about those that have relationship problems that Geoffrey, Jock and Dave can’t work out with their spouses …head straight for divorce?
5. How do you help those that smoke or drug addicted or alcoholics or a combination of the three etc….hey just quit!
6. How do you help those who are phobic, God forbid, agoraphobic…live with it!
7. How to help those that are grieving for a dead loved one….oh just get over it and move on!
8. How to help people who are totally stressed out…we know now what that can do to the body. Guess what eventually it can provide the physiology for cancer. Just live with it…I do!
9. How do you help a person with idiopathic tremors, where both the whole body and voice are involved. They can’t hold a job or even communicate normally with loved ones let alone strangers? Hey, just suck it up?
10. How to help those with Chronic Degenerative Diseases like cancer. These diseases have three components all of which needs be addressed: Physiological, Psychological and Spiritual.
You got to be nuts it’s just your body! It’s all in your head!
Cancer is buried anger.
What is a mastectomy? It’s getting something off your chest! No, it’s not funny! Remind me sometime and I’ll tell you a story about breast cancer and a psychic.
What is Bladder Cancer? It’s being pissed at someone or something. If your bladder shuts down..then you’re totally pissed off!
I could go on.
Now we come to the psychotic and neurotic which in many cases require heavy duty drugs and even possible incarceration. I leave those to the Psychiatrist MDs.
We have moved on from Heroic Medicine through Sigmund Fraud etc. to the 21st Century.
So what is the function of the Therapist no matter the variety.
People come to therapy because they are stuck. They’re stuck in certain limiting beliefs about themselves others and the world around them. They’re stuck holding on to false values and debilitating and or destructive behaviours. Some see only one way out…they’re robotic. Some see one of two ways out…they’re in dilemma.
Therapist offers choices, options and possibilities. That’s all therapy is. Choice is always three possibilities and in most cases there are three thousand and three possibilities. These choices must be those of the client not the therapist. The therapist must make sure that the options selected by the client are in their total best interests.
There are many types of therapy the least used now is Fraudian. It takes much too long and therefore too expensive. Sadly, most therapists have great difficulty identifying precisely when and how a person has changed. This also means that the client is in doubt. I run into many who think they’ve dealt with their life long traumas only to find out they’ve not. This leads in many cases of fee raping rather than therapy.
So what do you expect to happen when you go to a traditional therapist as opposed to someone like me?
End of Part One.