It took me until yesterday to find some words to write about Fr. Ben and my unexpected blessing. Even then, I can’t do it justice; but why should I expect to? The moment was enough.
Many of you have been kind enough to make comments on my unexpected encounter, (and dear Catholic Nomad Girl has reblogged it) and I am so grateful to you all. Your kindness is a Grace, it is unexpected, unlooked for and entirely marvellous to experience; it means more to me than I have the words to say.
As will be clear to you all, for me the most important description of God is the one St. John offers when he say He is ‘love’. I have read learned disquisitions (OK, I’ve looked at them in C’s study and asked him for summaries) on the various types of ‘love’ which can be expressed by the various Greek words used in the New Testament, but know that the love that matters is the one Christ describes so well in the story of the Prodigal Son.
It is not an accident that Our Lord uses the language of the family. How can anyone describe love of a father or mother for his or her child? We can’t even ‘prove’ such love exists – it lies outside the realm with which science can deal, and is within the realm of the spiritual; we may not be able to prove what such love is, but if we have experience it, as parent or child, then we know in a way which makes words redundant.
Yet such love is but the pale reflection of how God regards us, His creatures. We are more precious to Him than the lilies of the field, who neither toil nor spin. For the faults of our first parents we are poor banished children of Eve, but even here, in our night of exile, He has not deserted us.
Perhaps sometimes we try too hard, or think we don’t try hard enough, and get discouraged. And yet we in no way merit salvation. If we try, it is to be sincere in our repentance and our attempt to walk in His way; but however much we promise, we know we shall fall short. That should not make us stop – but it should mean we should not get discouraged.
Neither should we think to be worthy of His Grace; we aren’t; we never were and never shall be. But you know, it does not matter at all. What matters is that we embrace His love, love Him back, and in that love try to love others. We need to find His path to repentance and to His arms – but that He has traced for us all the way to Calvary and beyond. That my sins were His stripes is enough to shame me; not enough to make me what I shall, in His mercy be, but enough to make my heart overflow to Him.
So I want to know the Christian ‘way’ to the one Truth expressed in Him. For me, my camp site on Mt. Nebo has become a place of love.
Well said, Jess, I believe we can never deserve salvation, so if salvation is not by Grace, and Grace alone, we are doomed but, we are not. Hallelujah.
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Hallelujah – that’s the truth of it – and the wonder of it – God’s love. He comes to meet us – all we are required to do is to respond to that love.
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Your blog is always inspirational to me. Even if sometimes I feel like I want to come down off my Mt. Nebo into one camp or another and you post something that draws me back up (although that is definitely be a good thing!) Thank you.
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Thank you – good to have your company in the camp. 🙂
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That is beautiful. Very inspirational. That is what draws me too. Have you ever read “The Life of St. Teresa of Avila?” It is the book that led me to revert, because in it I saw everything I was searching for. Her world was all about love.
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I haven’t, I am ashamed to say, but, inspired by you, I was about to order it – when C told me that he has it on his shelves – as he does, so I shall read it 🙂
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That is ok. There are so many books out there as it is. One could never read them all.
Let me know what you think of it. I am excited to hear.
Have a good day! Starting work here soon.
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I mean night. I forget the difference. 🙂
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I know how that one feels 🙂 xx Jess
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